Love and Lust
by Amakatsu
Summary: Usagi is in a happy relationship with Mamo...as far she she is aware. But some worrying (if heated) dreams puts some doubts in her head. Usagi/Rei (M for only the beginning scene).
1. Chapter 1

_ "Rei…" Usagi gasped out quietly, placing her hands on Rei's shoulders. "I can't, we shouldn't-!" The rest of her words got lost as her breath hitch. Rei smirked from her spot on Usagi's neck, lips millimeters away. _

_ "Relax Usa," Rei whispered her voice like honey. Usagi felt herself give in. Suddenly both of them became naked, their bare bodies pressed against each other on the bed. Usagi felt her breaths come in short bursts as each movement the miko made brushed against her sensitive breasts. _

_ "Aaah!" Usagi called out as Rei latched on to a stiff nipple, sucking gently. "Oh-! Rei!" _

_ Usagi felt her friend's hands travel lower down her side caressing her hip, the hand moved lower still. Usagi could feel her body arch in anticipation. Rei's fingers brushed against her clit and Usagi moaned. _

_ "Please Rei…" She whispered desperately, she could feel the raven haired girl smirk against her skin. _

_ Suddenly Rei was inside her. Her tight walls constricted, and Usagi cried out in ecstasy. It was better than she could have imagined. Rei's fingers moved expertly and Usagi was unraveling fast. _

_ "Rei, Rei, Rei!" She called her name like a mantra as something began to tighten in her abdomen...I'm going to...!_

_ "Usagi," Rei whispered against the blonde's flushed skin. Usagi cried out as Rei's fingers curled upwards. _

"Usagi."

_ The blonde gasped desperately for air the pleasure racking her body still, squeezing her legs against Rei's hand. _

"Usagi!"

_ What? Rei is…._

"USAGI WAKE UP!"

"Waaaahhh!" Usagi jumped forward heart running a mile a minute. She widley looked around her bedroom. "Wait I was….uh…" She looked around confused landing on a disgruntled Luna.

"It's about time! If you don't hurry up you'll be late for school!" The cat complained.

"Oh sorry Luna I was just…" Usagi felt flashes of her dream come back to her. "Just...uh...dream...ing…" Her face felt hot and she bolted out of bed in a flash. "Gotta take a bath!" She yelled and ran out of the room as fast as possible.

"You don't have time for-! Oh nevermind…" Luna called after, wondering what had gotten the odango girl flustered. "Oh well…" She sighed and curled up in a circle.

_ 'Ohmigoshohmigoshohmigoshhhh!' _Usagi panicked internally as slammed closed the door to the bathroom. She took deep breaths leaning against the door to calm herself. 'I dreamt of..._that_...with _Rei_!' She buried her face in her hands feeling hot shame flood her. Now as she stood she could feel a foreign wetness between her legs...on her underwear….

"I can't believe this!" She wailed helplessly. Feeling her face give off waves of heat. She went to the sink and splashed her face with cold water breathing deeply. "OK, it's normal I'm fine just...get it off my mind that's all!" She said to her reflection trying to cheer up. Once her heart seemed to normalize she smiled a little in the mirror and began to take off her pajamas, kicking the pants to cover her underwear out of her sight. Once naked she turned on the tub to fill up and moved over to shower herself off. As the water hit her back she gave a sigh of relief and her mind calmed down. In her relaxed state her thoughts brought up her dreams unbidden. She sat bolt right and hit the water off, without a second thought she jumped in the tub and dunked her head in the water trying to wash away the images.

Throughout the school day Usagi had successfully kept her mind off Rei and her...dreams.

"Hey girls! I got out of detention because Ms. Haruna got called for a date, isn't that great!" Usagi explained excited to Ami and Makoto.

"It's not great that you got detention again." Ami sighed as Makoto laughed a little.

Usagi pouted at her but brushed off the comment, "so what do you want to do? Go to the Arcade?" Usagi hinted "Oooh, or eat a bunch of ice cream at-".

"Usagi, we all said we would go to Rei's place to study remember?" Makoto said raising an eyebrow at the blonde.

Usagi felt her smile begin to drop a little. "We're doing...what?" She said in shock.

Ami turned and looked at her in concern, "going to Rei's? The Hikawa Shrine?"

"Oh, ah, right ahahaha." Usagi rubbed the back of her head awkwardly. "Y-you know actually I'm not feeling well so I'm just going to go-"

"Oh no you don't." Ami stopped her grabbing Usagi's shoulder. "You just said you wanted to go to the arcade. It won't help you to lie just to get out of studying Usagi. Furthering our minds is important as students we-"

"Ah, what Ami is saying," Makoto interjected before the bluenette could get going on another studying lecture. "-Is it's not good to run away, plus you said so yourself, you promised to study harder after all the danger died down."

_ 'I wish studying was my only problem'_ Usagi put her hands up in defense, "no! I'm not lying I just really should go-"

Both of her friends shook their heads and without another thought grabbed hold of Usagi and began to drag her off.

"Noooooo!" Usagi silently cried to herself.

It had been an hour since all five girls arrived at the Hikawa Shrine. Usagi sat staring down at her book. She had half heartedly worked through a few math problems when she first arrived but her nerves stood on end when Rei had settled down in the spot at her side ten minutes in. Since then, for close to an hour Usagi tried desperately to keep her eyes down. She tensed up hyper aware of the senshi next to her._ 'I'm never going to be able to even breathe with her right there! I got to find a way out of this fast!' _Rei sighed and shifted her shoulder accidentally brushing against Usagi, their bare arms touching. Usagi immediately shot upwards on her feet panicking. The touch of skin brought back her dream; which had felt _too_ real. The other four girls looked at her in shock.

"Oh, uh, I- um," She looked around her eyes landing on Ami. "Ami! I need Ami's help with a uh problem." Usagi came up with quickly. Relieved, now she can move away from Rei to Ami's side of the room and-

"You can't, she's helping me right now, ask Rei." Minako said bored barely looking up. Usagi thought she would faint on the spot.

"I can just wait, I mean Rei doesn't even go to the same school, plus she has her own work to do anyway!" Usagi came up with quickly laughing awkwardly.

"Yeah, but Rei's class already covered the material we're working on, she was able to show me last time we met up, we had a whole conversation about it don't you remember?" Makoto reminded her eyeing her strangely.

"I've actually just finished my work a moment ago." Rei added.

"O-oh is that right." Usagi said faintly. "If you don't mind then." She sat weakly back down. _'Just kill me now.' _

"Let me see…" Rei mumbled as she shifted closer to Usagi. The blonde's breath caught in her throat at the action and she willed her heart to quiet down. "Here you have to remember the properties of quadratic equations…" Rei's explanation began to fade away as Usagi relaxed and let her eyes travel the miko. Her long raven hair looked as smooth as silk and Usagi felt herself wanting to touch the tresses. She moved her eyes across Rei's face, sharp elegant features; Usagi realized-not for the first time-how beautiful Rei is. Her gaze moved lower, Rei's lips, her neck, she moved down to the piece of paper where Rei's fingers were taping in thought. Slender long digits. Nimble from handling numerous instruments.

_ "Rei…" _

The memory of her own sigh of pleasure rang through her mind and she jerked away from the table.

"Usagi?" Rei questioned confused.

"Ummm…" Usagi got up quickly again, gaining the others attention, "thirsty, I mean I'm thirsty! For-for water of course, I'll be back." She felt her skin flush. She couldn't handle being in the same room as Rei any longer, she quickly retreated and slammed the door shut. Usagi gave a sigh and shook her head. She padded along the wooden floor to the kitchen. She might as well get some water. It could help her cool down…

"Usagi?" A voice called softly.

Usagi turned around to see Rei standing by the doorway. Her expression remained stoic as usual but her eyes betrayed her concern. She had noticed specifically how expressive Rei's amethyst eyes are.

Despite their constant fighting both of them were always able to read each other well.

"Hey, Rei, whats' up?" Usagi managed to reply normally.

"Nothing, I just wanted to make sure you didn't break anything." Rei smirked at her. The concerned look in her gaze remained.

Usagi pouted at her, "very funny Rei." She crossed her arms, "I'm not that clumsy…" she muttered under her breath.

"Yeah sure," Rei laughed moving from the door closer. Usagi watched her walk forward, her gaze unfocused observing the miko quietly. She startled from her trance as she realized their proximity,

"What are you-" Usagi's voice caught in her throat as Rei leaned forward her chest brushing against Usagi's own. The odango girl stood stock still as Rei reached across her, black hair tickling against her shoulder. Usagi let her eyes stray along her friend's features; the smooth slope of her neck, her raven hair, her strong jaw line. Usagi began to wonder what it would feel to brush her lips against the expanse of skin. The thought scared her and made her stomach clench uncomfortably. Frightened she jerked backwards her elbow connecting with the glass she had left on the counter. The object fell to the ground and shattered, bringing Rei to a stop.

They both blinked for a moment, before looking down at the glass.

"...Who's not that clumsy again?" Rei said dryly raising an eyebrow.

"Um, oops." Usagi said, moving to get a broom. She kept her gaze low, not meeting Rei's eyes. The miko finished reaching over and grabbing a glass of her own to fill with water. Usagi felt foolish.

She finished sweeping up her mess and threw the object in the trash.

"We should get back to studying before it gets too late at night." Rei commented sipping her water.

"Actually, I'm heading out." Usagi said softly, "I want to stop and see Mamo for a little bit."

Rei was silent for a long time, causing Usagi to finally lift her head and look at the miko. The raven haired teen was frowning down at her glass, her gaze looked conflicted. Usagi thought she saw disappointment flash in amethyst eyes for a moment, but it was gone quickly.

"Figures, I swear you two love birds can't give it a rest can you?" Rei teased, turning around, placing her glass down. "Don't forget any of your stuff here again, I won't be cleaning up after you." She huffed heading towards the door.

Usagi smiled softly, Rei always scolded her for being forgetful, but whenever she did leave something behind the next day it would suddenly appear back at her house.

"Thanks Rei." Usagi said genuinely.

Rei stopped short when Usagi didn't retaliate, or yell how mean she was being.

"Usagi...:" She started, wanting to question the blonde.

"Well! Better hurry up, I can't wait to see my Mamo!" Usagi said cheerfully skipping past Rei to gather her things. She offered a few parting excuses to the rest of her friends before leaving the Shrine. After she began to descend the steps some of her false cheer left her, replaced with her constant confusion.

Mamoru was safe. He was sweet, soft, chaste, and filled with the puppy love Usagi was attracted to. Innocent kisses and romantic evenings.

But Rei...Rei was passion, scorching flame, ever changing and just as unpredictable. She sent Usagi's nerves on fire, and made her lose her cool. Rei was abrasive, and self centered, but she was _kind_, and _caring_.

Usaig sighed sorrowfully, scrunching her eyes closed as her emotions raged on. She didn't understand why she couldn't get her feelings under control.

_ 'Maybe I just need to see Mamo,'_ Usagi thought determined. She began towards her boyfriend's apartment still lost in thought.

"Usako!" A voice called.

She looked up seeing Mamoru standing on the road towards his apartment, an easy smile on his face. Usagi felt the familiar excitement rise up at seeing him and she couldn't help running up to him.

"Mamo!" She laughed happily throwing her arms around his neck in a warm hug. He laughed catching her against him with equal enthusiasm.

"Shouldn't you be studying?" Mamoru questioned her, leaning back, keeping their embrace.

"Aren't you happy to see me?" Usagi pouted.

Mamoru chuckled at her, "of course I am Usako, but we did talk about not seeing each other until you fixed your grades."

"I know," Usagi gave in, "I just came from studying with everyone." She defended. It wasn't a total lie, she had _tried _to study. The thoughts of why she wasn't able to concentrate brought down her mood once again.

"What's wrong? Did you have a fight with someone?" Mamoru asked noticing her dampened mood.

Usagi shook her head, "no, I think I've just been lonely is all." She whispered, grasping his blazer. Mamoru smiled softly at her in understanding. She tilted her head up to gaze into his eyes; amethyst irises entered her mind. She raised on her tiptoes and initiated a light kiss. He responded immediately, making Usagi feel warmer.

_ More…._

She brought her hands to tangle in his hair and deepened the kiss, pressing close to him.

_ Imagine going further with Mamo…._

Their tongues met, soft and loving. Usagi felt warmed in her heart knowing he loved her, but that was all.

The thought of going any further with Mamoru didn't bring any of the excitement her dream had. He didn't set her nerves on fire.

She didn't feel _need_.

She pulled away, staying aware of where they were. Suddenly she felt close to tears as the realization dawned on her.

"Sorry Mamo, I think I should get going." She said softly trying to keep her emotions from her voice.

He looked like he wanted to protest, but conceded, "you're right, it is getting a bit late." He responded.

She gave him one last peck goodbye before turning and racing off. As she began to get farther away she picked up speed until she was in a full sprint, tears streaming down her face, clouding her vision.

_ If I don't want Mamo then...then what's left? I'm so confused!_

She hadn't been looking where she was going, too distraught to focus, she ended up knocking into someone.

"Oh, sorry-Princess?"

Usagi sniffed and looked up, "Haruka…" Usagi mumbled, wiping at her tears.

"What's wrong kitten?" Haruka said immediately, helping Usagi up.

Usagi shook her head not replying, "nothing, I just-I don't know." She stuttered trying to get her tears under control.

Haruka, seemed to hesitate for a moment, but placed her hand on Usagi's shoulder.

"Why don't you come by the house and we can talk about it?" Haruka suggested gently. Usagi sniffed and began to decline, but thought for a moment. Haruka did seem to be someone she could talk to.

"OK," Usagi whispered, letting the older woman guide her down the street.

They talked aimlessly as they walked, Haruka doing her best to ease Usagi. When they made their way to the outer's home Haruka let Usagi sit down while she made them some tea.

"Where are the others?" Usagi asked noticing how quiet the house was. Haruka bit back a seductive remark, knowing Usagi wouldn't be in the best mood to receive her flirtatious nature. Instead she answered honestly, "Michiru and Hotaru went out to gather dinner, and Setsuna is always going off by herself somewhere." Haruka shrugged. They sat for a moment sipping their respective cups, Haruka watched her princess carefully waiting for her to speak.

"How did you…" Usagi started hesitantly, Haruka paused her hand and put her tea cup back down. Usagi tried again, "how do you know you're really in love?"

Haruka's eyebrows lifted in surprise and she considered the question carefully. "When being in love, there's a certainty which goes with it," she started, "if you have to question your own feelings, chances are the love isn't true."

Usagi's face seemed to crumple. Haruka frowned and considered the question, and possible circumstances behind it.

Suddenly, Usagi's expression changed and she looked up to the outer senshi, "but what about you and Michiru? You're always flirting with so many girls even though you're with her…" She faded away uncertain.

Haruka smirked, "talking to cute girls is just in my nature," she winked, before becoming more serious. "Michiru is different. She's my other half, there's no uncertainty in our bond. Despite my actions she knows, and I know, the truth about my love for her."

"But, isn't it, isn't it possible to really love someone but…." Usagi's cheeks began to redden at her next words, finding it difficult to articulate what she wanted to convey, "but to...to _want_ someone else." She mumbled embarrassed.

Haruka paused in shock again, not sure whether she's the right person to have _this_ kind of discussion with Usagi. She cleared her throat, unused to being reserved when discussing sexual endeavors-however the delicate situation called for a different approach.

"Then," Haruka began picking her words carefully, "you would have to be able to differentiate between love and lust."

"Lust?" Usagi asked inquisitively.

"Well, yeah," Haruka shrugged. "It can be easy to be attracted to someone for their looks, and their body, but you have to think about how it feels to be with that person everyday, if you genuinely enjoy their company...on top of wanting their body." Haruka took a sip from her cup, "hmmm, or I guess you could be the type who doesn't want a sexual relationship at all. Asexual or Aromatic, or…." she stopped noticing the dazed and confused look on Usagi's face, similar to the one she would have during a lecture; she sighed, deciding not to confuse the girl, and simplified matters, "love is complicated anyway. You won't find your answers by asking others, only by asking yourself." She finished.

Usagi mulled over what she heard, some of the concepts seemed too complicated and felt like another school lecture, but she began to grasp what she was being told. Usagi felt some of her last hope of fooling herself fade, Haruka was right she needed to confront the answer herself.

"Thanks Haruka. I feel a little calmer now." Usagi said getting up, "I have to go home."

"Anytime my kitten," Haruka replied with a charming smile. "Glad I could help." The older blonde followed Usagi to the door and waved her off just as Michiru parked the car and began to get out.

"Was that Usagi?" Michiru asked tilting her head.

"Yep, we were just having some alone time together." Haruka answered suggestively.

"Sure," Michiru rolled her eyes, "help me get the bags from the car please?" Her lover asked.

"Anything for you darling." Haruka replied laughing. "Wait until I tell you what our little Princess asked me about today."


	2. Chapter 2 Omake

**I recently found this in my computer and it looked like a continuation but I haven't figured out a way to connect it all, so I figured I'd just have it as a little extra! Usagi runs into some hot water when an energy blast makes her and Rei share thoughts.**

* * *

"Usagi watch out!" Rei called grabbing Usagi's arm and pulling her out of the way. The beam of light hit Rei dead on, but she had yet to let of Usagi's hand. The energy travelled to the blonde as well. The youma took the time to swiftly retreat into the woods. The other senshi stopped any pursuit to check on their two friends who now lay on the ground.

"Sailor Moon, Sailor Mars!" They called kneeling near them. "Are you OK?"

Usagi and Rei groaned for a moment and blinked, but felt no pain. All five de transformed and helped Rei and Usagi up.

"_Ah that hurt, sometimes I wish Rei could be a little more gentle…" _

"I heard that Usagi! A lot of the thanks I get for saving your skin!" Rei snapped back. Usagi's mouth dropped open, and she stared wide eye at Rei. "...What?" Rei asked confused.

"Usagi didn't say anything…." Makoto answered her instead warily.

"But, I just heard her…" Rei trailed off. _'Did I hit my head?'_ She thought.

"Oh my gosh!" Usagi squealed. "Why is your voice in my head!" Usagi accused pointing a finger at Rei.

Rei scoffed, "what are you talking about have you lost it?"

Usagi shook her head, "no I just heard you say something and you yelled at me for my thoughts!"

"You're not making any sense idiot!" Rei yelled back.

"Hold on a minute guys," Ami interrupted her scanner out. "Hmmm, I'm picking up some interesting readings between you two...look at your wrists."

Rei and Usagi looked down at their wrists where a golden character glowed faintly there.

Ami took out her mini computer and began typing away, "it says kokoro. I wonder what it could mean. It could possibly refer to the meaning of spiritual, heart, and mind connection."

"Like, telepathy?" Minako asked tilting her head.

Ami hummed still examining her computer, "no not quite. Telepathy is solely a mind to mind, and there's a choice in who to connect with. Rei and Usagi are connected by even their hearts, and it only applies to them." Ami sighed and put her visor and computer away. "As far as the scans show you both are perfectly healthy. I don't think we have much to worry about."

"Much to worry about?" Rei said in disbelief, "there's everything to worry about!"

"Rei is right, this is bad!" _'I can't have Rei in my head! What if she sees….sees…'_ .the image of the two of them naked pressed together popped up in her mind, _'ugh that stupid dream I'll die of embarrassment!'_ She buried her face in her hands but looked up when she heard a startled gasp. She made eye contact with Rei who sat there, red faced, and mouth gaping.

Usagi was horrified.

"U-Usagi you idiot!" Rei yelled, cheeks bright.

'_I'd be on top anyway…' _

Usagi almost choked as the stray thought crossed her mind, clearly not her own. "Rei!" She whined scandalized.

Rei struggled with her words face turning darker, "it's not MY fault, my mind strayed there-ugh you started this!" She jabbed a finger at Usagi.

"Stop listening to my thoughts!"

"Well, stop thinking!"

Makoto, Ami and Minako stood away from the two arguing.

"Does anyone have any idea what they're talking about?" Makoto asked confused.

Ami and Minako just shook their heads bewildered as they watched Rei and Usagi squabble.

"I feel like this is going to be a long night…" Minako said tiredly. The other two sighed in agreement.

* * *

**Thanks for reading, these two are surprisingly fun(ny) to write.**


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